God is love; He has great love for the institution of marriage. God has an important plan and purpose for every marriage. God desires us to have a partner to journey through life with. God created man and then made woman to complement him. We know from Scripture that biblical marriage is God’s solution to man’s loneliness for the fact that it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18).
It is certainly not an easy decision to choose who to love in marriage. Making the wrong decision can cost one a lot. Fortunately, it is very definitely possible to form a bond with the right person that will last a lifetime. Most of the characteristics you may think are most important in a spouse may not be the ones that make for a good, lifelong relationship. In other words, it is not just enough to be married to a good person, but also a person that is most suitable.
There are a number of indicators that point to a good Christian marriage.
In a good Christian marriage, the partners are not perfect; rather, they are expected to be constantly learning, working and developing a closer relationship with God. Instead of focusing on perfection, spouses are constantly working to build up their marriage relationship through the help of God. A strong personal relationship with Jesus Christ is incredibly important.
The presence of unselfish love in a home is one of the strong indicators of a good Christian marriage. We often hear the term “unconditional love” when it comes to relationships, but “unselfish love” is another term that we should know. Unselfish love is the glue that holds marriages together. Apostle Paul states, “Love is patient, love is kind; it is not boastful, nor proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
It is important that we subdue our own egos and selfish pride for the sake of our family. True Christian love is not a feeling; it is something we must make effort to practice every day. Christian marital partners can and will love each other in a range of ways. This will be different in each family.
People tend to believe that glorious “true love” relationships are impossible these days, but we have the power to turn our own relationships into just that. We are called “above all to love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). A Christian wife should love unconditionally; she values her husband for who he is.
Unconditional love in essence is true love so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves a definition of its own. Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s not unconditional love when other people like us for doing what they want or demand of us. It isn’t a feeling, it’s a behavior. Unconditional love is ever-flowing.
One of the most important ways a Christian wife supports her husband is in the area of counsel. She seeks to grow in knowledge and wisdom in God’s Word as well as her callings in life, so she can give her husband the best possible guidance in all circumstances.
Husbands should focus on the physical and emotional needs of their wives likewise the wives. A husband should love his wife both physically and emotionally. Too often, husbands forget how important their wives sexual needs are too. Sex is important in marriage and your wife’s needs should be acknowledged. Paul said neither husband nor wife should deny sexual pleasure to each other: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
According to1 Corinthians 7:3-5, “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
The Bible says a man and a woman become “of one flesh.” When they do this, they become one, physically, mentally and emotionally. Sex is one of the divine gifts that God has provided not only for our physical and emotional well-being, but also our happiness. Keep your each other’s needs in mind.
Compassion is one of the most important qualities in a marriage and one of the most important character traits a woman demonstrates in her marriage not just towards her husband and children but to all those around her, especially the in-laws. The Bible tells us, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12).
In the New Testament, the first mention of the word compassion is found in Matthew 9:6: “But when he saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.” Jesus looking over the multitudes was moved with compassion because He saw their weariness and how lost they were. A Christian couple models after this.
The definition of compassion is a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. A compassionate wife is able to recognize when her spouse is suffering in some way. She is loving and kind and can help them move through their process.
The New Testament teaches that marriage should be a lifelong commitment. While some marriages cannot be saved, divorce should not be the first option. It should only be a last resort. We must make effort each day to keep our marriages strong and not let them drift towards divorce.
Couples must learn to allow Jesus to be in full charge of their marital relationship. Marriage can often be a struggle for control where both husband and wife fight for control over decisions, situations and rules. But until couples find that there can be no other person in control of the relationship except Christ, they would not find the fullness of God’s plan for the relationship.
Too often, we place another master on our marriage hierarchy. Sometimes, we replace God with money and make decisions based on that. Other times, we put convenience, pleasure and the opinion of others or sometimes even ourselves. Jesus should be the foundation upon which everything is built in our marriage.
Trust is the foundation of a Christian home. This is about more than fidelity in marriage. A Christian wife wants her husband to know that he can trust her and depend on her just like she trusts and depends on him. She sees their marriage as a partnership. You are a team. God is the coach. In Proverbs 31, we find first that the excellent wife is trustworthy. Scripture tells us, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain” (Proverbs 31:11-12). The Bible tells us her worth is far above jewels. A husband trusts her when she does him good and not evil all the days of her life. He will have confidence in her when he is encouraged. The trustworthy wife seeks to do her husband good all the days of her life.
Couples must ensure that they remain a source of encouragement for their spouse. Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans His way, but the Lord directs his steps.” A loving Christian woman will try to make her husband a better man. A woman who cherishes her husband will uplift him. This is one of her most valuable qualities. Any man who has a great wife will tell you that she makes him a better man. All though, you can get a good idea from your friends and family, your spouse should elevate you to your best self.
Do they say or act differently in a bad way when you are around her? Not a good sign. A Christian wife brings out the best in the husband. She also encourages her husband in a multitude of ways. She is honest with her husband about any concerns she may have regarding matters and protects her family from harmful circumstances.
One of the best ways for couples to have successful marriages is for both spouses to be grounded in faith together. A Christian wife keeps Christ at the centre of her marriage. The man and his wife must share many common interests. On top of being unbelievably similar, a good wife should share the same beliefs, values, hopes and dreams. You are inspired by each other when you share the same worldview, background and core beliefs, and valueswhich will allow the two of you to build a strong, loving foundation based on mutual respect. You are attracted to each other physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Too often, we end up in relationships with people who don’t share our beliefs and values and the relationship gets derailed before it even had a chance.
Ephesians 4:2-3 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Spouses should love each other selflessly. A good Christian wife does not just value herself but also values others. A selfless woman always puts God first. She also puts other people’s wishes, interests and aspirations first because she values others. Look at the way she treats her family and friends. Giving to others comes naturally to her. She finds happiness in giving away her energy; time and hard earned money, even to those who need help even when they don’t ask for it, she’s the epitome of selflessness.
Advisedly, let us puts God first and then our marriage covenant and love for spouse. When we do this, everything else will fall into place. We should be to add to our spouse’s life, spiritually, emotionally, physically, even financially. With the indicators of a good marriage in place in homes, the will of God concerning marriage will definitely be fulfilled in our lives and every other thing will fall into place in Jesus name.