THE IKA FAMILY CULTURE CONTINUES: NEW ATTITUDES TOWARDS IKA FAMILY CULTURE
By; Chief Dr. Onyekpeze
The traditional religious functions of the family are diminished. The idea that the family was of divine ordinance and its laws divinely appointed became less prevalent. The choice of the marriage partners of the children came to be less determined by the head of the family or by family conditions. The attitude towards sex became more intelligent and realistic, less clouded by taboos, dogmas and fear, which forbade any rational endeavour to adjust social system to human needs. Perhaps, the greatest gain springing from this new attitude was the dispelling of socially and psychologically harmful superstition of the uncleanness of sex.
The processes are still going on. The transference of women from domestic to “gainful” employment has advanced rapidly in Ika culture in recent times. Their place in society has remarkably transformed because of broader education given to more of them, and which has equipped them for the business of life. For example, the 2006 National Population Census figure showed that a good percentage of married women in Ika were in the labour force. There is a good reason to believe that the figure of the job-holding Ika women is steadily increasing, and more married women are becoming “bread-winners”. This is made possible by various social organizations, which have been developed in Ika to aid the family in the fulfillment of the principal function. These include the maternity homes, hospitals and out-patient clinics for mothers, baby clinics, the crèche, the kindergarten and other pre-school agencies including the modern “baby sitters” devices. With these devices, more and more mothers, whose employment lay outside the home, and who can neither leave their children behind nor bring them to the office, can work.
Consequently, the family life in Ika culture has undergone a lot of transformations in the relation of its members. The preparatory stage of the modern Ika family is marked by an increasing intimacy of man and woman; at least, of those aspects, which a growing sex attraction emphasizes and heightens. This is less the case where marriages were pre-arranged by the elders.
Nowadays, before the offsprings arrive, the couple live together and create the environment of the home, evoking the experience, initiating new attitudes towards each other and towards the society. They subtly establish new habitations between themselves. The high value with which this stage is regarded in the modern Ika culture is suggested by the emphasis that is given to the honeymoon, which the Ika people now imbibe. This leads to the next stage which fulfils the family proper. Partners are linked to one another by the vital link of their own children, the fruit of the sex union. It introduces new sentiments which can, but not in all cases, fortify and, in a measure, replace the initial ones, bringing new interests and also growing responsibilities.
The maturity stage emerges when the biological functions of the parents have been fulfilled and when the children no longer require parental care. The parents are liberated from this responsibility so that again, especially in these days of limited family new interests and new activities must take the place of old ones. For example, the wife on whom the heavier tasks of child bearing and child rearing had fully fallen will have some relief. However, all families do not, of course, pass through all these stages. Among the present Ika society, for instance, are a few childless families. The progression can also be interrupted by death or separation, or divorces, before the final stage is reached. But these form an inevitable time-succession whenever a family starts and attempts to fulfils its primary social function of perpetuating the race.
Unlike the traditional family, a lot of significant variations of human relationship occur in the modern Ika family system. The authority has departed and the traditions have been “revolutionized”. The modern family has emerged, itself, no
Doubt transitional in its stage, presenting problems of great sociological significance. The traditional family system was so deeply imbedded in the social structure of feudal times that the voluntary dissolution of the individual family was rarely hought of, especially by the operators. The modern family in Ika is becoming not only a more limited union, but one that depends more and more on the co-operation of two or more individuals, and no longer on the dominance of one. In this regard, the greater personal and social independence of women plays a crucial role for it has developed new attitudes that stand in marked contrast to those engendered by the traditional regime. No doubt, the unquestioning acceptance of the doctrine of male dominance made for a more stable family in the olden days Ika culture. But the modern family, like any “equal partnership” that demands reciprocity and give and take, some degree of harmony between the partners is apt to be less stable than an autocracy of one.
The less inclusive and less onerous the tasks, which the family performs as a unit, the more possible it becomes for the members to develop and express their individual personalities, each in relation to the other. Economic condition in the past made of the family, for the most part, a forced union, especially for the women. For the great majority of women, even today, their condition of at least partial economic dependence is a determining factor in their attitudes towards the family. This is revealed by the frequency of divorce, separation, desertion and other evidences of disharmony, or lack of cohesion, which comes to light, particularly in the Courts, Welfare Offices, in Social Work, and in marriage clinics.
The Family Life in the Present Ika Culture
Nowadays, the values of the Ika family life are gradually eroding away. The Ika father has little or no time for the family and even the mother. Some parents have little or no time to answer their children’s greetings, let alone teaching them their traditions. The Ika parents are almost lost in the capitalist world. They are so much after money that they tend to forget their primary assignment to their homes. Some of their children do not know their father’s village, let alone their mother’s. Worst still, the kids are dumped in the day care centres, thus imbibing “secondary” attitudes of life right from the scratch. With the lifestyle in Ika society today, one sees a situation where parents leave home early for work and come back late at night leaving the kids with the housemaids. But what type of background do the housemaids have? There are a lot of stories told about the activities of house helps who get children left in their care possessed by demonic spirits and personal traits. It is what the house helps teach the children that they grow up with because a lot of people have distorted backgrounds.
It is indeed unfortunate that the family in Ika is now facing numerous daunting challenges which hinder its functionality. One of the most debilitating concerns is the case of spousal conflicts, some of which degenerate into domestic violence. Separation or divorce, thus leaving the children in state of parental abandonment. Ika regrettably, is catching up too fast with urban communities in this infamous development.
Another problem worthy of mention is the fast erosion of the cherished family values such as respect for parents and elders, respect for rules and authorities, spirit of sharing, obedience, dignity of labour, hard work, integrity, brotherly love, communal living, fear of God or godliness, among others. As the primary agents of socialization, the family is expected to teach and help children to imbibe these values through proper upbringing.
It is evident and most regrettable that the above scenario is no longer the case, and everyone is now bearing the brunt as society is ravaged by juvenile delinquency, cultism, rape, examination malpractices, sexual immorality, armed robbery, assassination, kidnapping, prostitution, bribery and corruption as well as sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS.
SEE ALSO: THE FUTURE OF EXTENDED FAMILY INSTITUTION IN IKA CULTURE
Perhaps, the biggest challenge facing the Ika family like in other communities in Nigeria today is the global economic meltdown, which is melting away families. It has led to massive loss of jobs and employments of many parents and a concomitant decline of family income. Many families are now finding it difficult to maintain financial obligations in basic family needs such as rent, food, children’s school fees, medical care and so on.
As a matter of fact, poverty and apparent hopelessness are devouring devour homes.
In an attempt to tackle the aforementioned problems of poverty and diminishing local job opportunities, many families are dislocated, in which case husbands, wives and children are located far apart, all in search of the green pasture. In that process, family bonding is strained, marriages are threatened and effective children’s upbringing is impaired.
Even for families that are not dislocated, too much time goes into work and pursuit for wealth at the expense of family togetherness and happiness. Like was mentioned, some parents leave home early and get back home late, except perhaps on Sundays. This ugly situation does not give such families the needed time for morning devotions and parental care. Many families are in no way finding things easy nowadays.
The governments and other agencies, civil society groups, the private sector and individuals have various roles to play in finding solution to the problems bugging the family. For example, governments at various levels should make policies and laws that promote family welfare and cohesion. Taxes should be revised in favour of the poor people. Governments should create jobs as well as providing functional free education, healthcare facilities and cheap houses for the poor, etc. Individual families should be more prudent in managing their lean finances. They must prioritize and cut down on the expenditures that are unnecessary at this time. Parents should devote more time to their children’s upbringing and value orientation.